feeling emo-ed
Thursday, July 05, 2007, Thursday, July 05, 2007

basically.. just feeling damn down...exasperated... to even talk on phone. I just dunno why... Its like my mind ish feeling lots of things, painful emotions tt flow thru me... sadness.. anger..betrayal... the smashing of trust... all rolling into one big slime ball and crushing me with it. Seriously.. i feel like flying. all my worries will be left behind.
i feel like screaming my lungs out.. till i have got no voice..
i feel like vandalising.
i feel like taking everything i can find.. and smash it into million pieces.
i feel tt my heart is broken.Smashed.
i feel tt a wave of tears is overcoming me at this instant i am typing.

i shld be the person tt " " trusted with all " " things.. instead " " comes and tell me sumthing about the betrayal of trust.. i mean like Damn!!! wtf have i done wrong this time? Den " " goes on .. and on... and on... and with each " on" my feelings now changes for the worse.

There was once where my EVIL mind ask me to cut wrist. but GOOD mind tells me tt it is not such a bad thing to just listen to watever " " has got to say. who knows.. " " might even point out my mistakes.

But so far... is that we just had a long talk.. in between there are silence tt is like a few mins long....cos its seems like tt there wasnt much for us to say anyway. Silence which causes either one of us to listen and weep the heart out .... or hardened like a steel and throw hurtful remarks at one another.

i mean like tt isnt the way for such a hardbuilt friendship to just smash to smithereens.

den again.. i have to put a mask to sch. for watever reasons i am dealing with now..

or shall i skip and just think things thru for the day.. sleep and just wake up from a freaking nightmare. i dun think tt is possible.. even with me trying to... just feeling to much feelings to settle and calm down to think properly anyway...

which seems like i cant just put my trust in just anyone... not even close ones..

feeling emo-ed... emo.. emo-ed.. emo... emo-ed


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